Eulogy 101: Why the Eulogy is the Most Important Part of a Funeral
When someone who knew the deceased very well in life stands up and delivers the eulogy, or the short celebratory tribute customarily spoken at a funeral, everyone in the room will sit up and pay rapt attention. During a eulogy, a friend or family member telling stories and reminiscing from genuine experiences will help grieving survivors reconnect to their own deepest emotions and fondest memories. Whether the elements of the eulogy are from childhood or from the workplace, they entertain in a respectful, compassionate way, bringing the mourners, who were stunned or in shock over the recent death, back to life.
A Eulogy Helps People Reconnect
A Tokyo Cemetery Where My Grandpa Was Buried 3 Hours After His Eulogy
Besides helping people reconnect in life-changing ways within themselves, the eulogy can be the most important event of a funeral, because it brings the gathered mourners who have traveled various distances to be there – from across town or from across the country – closer together as a community and family. Often enough, long-lost relatives and estranged friends, who have not visited – or even communicated – for years, will be moved to renew their faded or strained relationships while attending funerals. A heartfelt eulogy speech that celebrates the deceased’s influence upon his or her world over the years can catalyze many reconciliations, because it causes people to reflect upon their own thoughts, words, and deeds.
A Eulogy is a Courageous Act
Standing up and saying a few words of tribute over a deceased friend or relative in a eulogy is an act of courage and grace that is likely to help the speaker, as well as most of the listeners, in powerful, unexpected ways. It is natural for someone who rarely gives speeches to hesitate when asked to write a eulogy and present it at a funeral. But declining the eulogy speech out of fear, or lack of confidence, will most likely cause painful regrets. Besides, products designed to help people write eulogies easily are readily available nowadays. Personalizing ideas that come through research, and allowing inspiration to fill in the blanks (of a pre-written eulogy) is probably the best strategy.
A Eulogy is Best Done by a Loved One
Professional clergy are frequently called upon to perform this all-important service, and they do their bests, in composing the eulogy, to personalize a talk that captures the essence of the person being honored. But their well-polished eulogy speeches – based upon patched-together facts, often jotted during hurried question and answer sessions with distracted family members – usually fall short of the mark. As the center-point of the funeral, the eulogy should be delivered by someone close to the deceased, so the words flow from living memories of meaningful, day-to-day interactions.
